Nick Staron and Bethany Williams are back with the second half of our series on Christian dating. This is a very special episode because it discusses the importance of setting boundaries for Christian dating and contains one of the most exciting moments ever captured by Glowing Nose. We promise that you will love the end of the podcast!! Please join the conversation. We want to know what you have to say about this sensitive subject.
What do you think about:
Dating vs. Courtship?
Boundaries — where are you setting yours?
Should Christians kiss when dating?
Comments
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First, that was really, really cute. It brightened my day just hearing it.
It sounds like things have started off well, and I hope it continues that way!
Second, thanks for these podcasts. I think they’re interesting, entertaining, encouraging, and just an all around good time.
Third, I have questions/ponderings. What is the best way to meet other Christian singles? I know that God’s timing is not my own, and if He’s planning to send me the man of my dreams, He’ll do it at the right time. But while I don’t want to push it, I do think I need to put myself out there. I can’t just sit around at home and expect someone to fall into my lap, right?
I’ve been trying a couple of dating websites to see if I might meet some Christian guys that way. What do you think of things like that? Even if I don’t find my dream guy this way, I think it can be helpful in determining the qualities I do and don’t want.
I see how making a list like you two did would be helpful, but at what point before “dating” do you share that list with the other person? I mean, if a guy from one of the websites invites me out for dinner or something, I think that on our first meeting, presenting him with a list of qualities that I want him to have would be frightening – both for him and me. If he presented me with such a list, I would think he was just doing the “wife-hunting” thing. Trying to decide on a first date if we could possibly get married one day seems a bit too much for me. I don’t think that’s really what you’re trying to say, but unless I see someone on a regular basis anyway, like at work or church, it’s hard to get to know someone new as a friend first. Getting to know them as a friend involves making plans, going places, hanging out – which is pretty much the same as dating.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts. And this is a long enough comment that you could count it for two or three if you want to.
First of all, thanks a ton for the kudos! Good to know people are listening.
Second, I’d love to hear from others in the audience about this topic.
Third – I do want to note that we did not mention in the podcast that some people really are never meant to get married. In fact Paul refers to that concept as a gift. It allows us to be more focused on Christ and getting the Word out. Hooray for single people! Be strong! You need to get yourself right with God (not that you aren’t, Laura
and keep your head in the game. If God has made you single for this time of your life then enjoy it! Milk it for all it is worth. That’s what I do.
As far as online dating goes, I’m not usually much of a fan of that style because it skips the friend stage, which I tend to think of as crucial (not that I’m a dating expert!). Perhaps in your online profile you can put down that you want to be friends for a while before committing to anything serious? You might also want to try using groups like meetup.com to just get out there and meet people in a friendly setting. Or join a sports or hobby group. Take a class (maybe a Moody Bible Institute distance learning class?). People meet people at events and activities. If there are none in your area, start one! Try expanding your horizons to meet godly people. This world is filled with lonely people. Use this as a chance to bring folks together.
I hesitate to encourage anyone to get on the dating sites. I’m much more a fan of starting groups, organizing get-togethers, and enlarging your sphere of influence. Most of all, I just want to reiterate that you should really focus on enjoying life and bettering yourself rather than rely on someone else to fulfill you. If you’re not 100% okay with the Lord and yourself before you meet that special someone, chances are that things will get rough.
I’d say if you’ve tried all of that and still feel a longing for a mate the dating sites should only be tried with heavy boundaries in place. Anyone else have thoughts?
Laura,
It is amazing to hear from you! Just an update, it has been three weeks since we recorded that podcast and Bethany and I are doing really well. It has been a huge blessing!
I’m just going to add to what Chris said – which I tend to agree with. I’d been single for eight years and allowed me to do an incredible amount of work and play that I may not have been able to do if I was dating. Plus, it has saved me enough money to continue to work on the films. Chris has also been single for a long time… You don’t live close to Cleveland do you? (just joking!)
Honestly, I did not think of Bethany as a possible mate for a long time. It took a year and a half for the thought even crossed my mind and another year before I even seriously considered it. You may have someone close by that you have yet to gravitated towards. And I do not think that Chris’ suggestion to get into more social groups is a bad idea either. My home church has far more males in their 20’s than females. It was not the place to go to meet women. But I followed my interests in Christian filmmaking, Bethany volunteered to work on “Between the Walls” through a friend of a friend and three years later, things worked out.
If you are interested in sports then join a church softball league. If it is music join the local choir, city band or theater group. Not only will it be a great way to get to meet people, but you will also get to share your faith while enjoying what you already like to do.
As soon as we finished recording the podcast I sat down with Bethany and read off a list of things I’d been thinking about for a long time. It was broken down into three categories: Hopes, Fears and Boundaries. I can totally see how it would be rough to lay something out like this for someone you met on a dating website. But for us it was a relief to finally air some of those concerns.
Thank you for listening. I hope this helps!
Sincerely,
Nick Staron